everyday life

Isn´t it wonderful?

After a long time of living, thinking, feeling, here is a restart again.

I wanted to find the posts I wrote already, but it was impossible. So I decided to see me as a person who makes all the faults which are possible. It is so.

I had been at the Berlinale (february) and only one film is still in my head: Wu Tu (My Land). The film is made in China in 2015. The director is Fan Jian who is also the man behind the camera. It is the story of two activists who live in resistance to a social and political system. They give support to landworkers who are wandering from one place to another to find a job. The film shows how the activists fight against the social system which tries to frighten them by cutting electricity and water. But they don’t give up. On the place where they live investors plan to build high buildings for wealthy people.

There is one scene in the movie which touches me most: The couple together with friends deals with the constant harassment by the bureaucracy. The do it by role playing. While they are taking the roles of the bureaucrats, exaggerating their behavior, their gestures and voices,  they free themselves by mocking at their opponents.

Only one film! Can it be that it is mostly the athmosphere in the Berlinale cinemas which is enjoying? The impression of glamour while the wheather around the cinemas is unfriendly, cold and rainy? The magnificant golden ball on the screen which bursts out into stars, millions of them, accompanied by a powerful music?

My husband says: You should have gone into the right movies.

Oouch!

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One step in the right direction

My one year adventure in Berlin arouses a lot of doubts which I never expected. When I was young I thought to be a calm and wise person in the age of 70. No doubts, no problems any more. Instead knowing what you want, having a clear and steady perception of the world and other people. 

But now I learn that I am a person with stop and go, stop and go. How can I explain it? 

My husband and I thought it would be a good idea (and maybe a little bit of an adventure) when we – each of us – in our age (70+) have more time for ourselves. The promise was to live more in the own rhythm. For example: I love to go to movies, but with him on my side I often do not realize my plans. Instead we are sitting together at home, watching tv. He loves documentary, especially about historical themes. I join him in this interest, but it was not what I originally planned to do. The difficulty for me is that the list with not-realizing-wishful-events becomes longer and longer. And as I have a good memory I do not forget this list. 

As we are now living most of the week separated I do not feel prevented from my interests any more. These are the good news. But! I now have to struggle with the huge amount of possibilities here in Berlin. The Berlinale (one of the most popular filmfestivals in the world) starts on tuesday. A handful of interesting lectures in the IPU (International Psychoanalytical University)  are in these days. A friend of mine from Jerusalem is coming for three days. I have to make a contact with a support-number for my computer. This is a great pressure, really. I hate to be dependant from these people who will help me with my problem. And I have a pressure to work on a project: I will discuss the film  „People on Sunday“ in my cinema at home next autumn. (Billy Wilder´s debut as screenwriter, from 1930, one of the last silent movie). There is nothing spectacular in it, so it is a real challenge to write a good paper. 

When I see what I have just written, it seems to me complaining on a high level. And I do not really understand which problem I have! Such a thick bunch of interesting possibilities!

And I have to add another project. I started to get a contact with students who work here in Berlin with refugees. I am choosen as a supervisor for their work. In the moment it is difficult to get the little group together and find an appropriate frame for the work.

I want to thank the bloggers who showed interest in my posts. Young people with a fresh spirit. I am in raptures  (I have this expression from the dictionary, it sounds strange for my german ears.) about their attitude in writing. 

And especially a big thank you to DaisyWillows who asked directly: is everything okay with you? I hope to be back really now, and that is your merit. 

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